Examining common thinking errors and reframing techniques to reshape negative thought patterns
Introduction: The Invisible Filters of the Mind
Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I always mess things up”, “They must think I’m useless”, or “If I fail at this, I’m a total failure”? If so, you’re not alone — and you’re not broken. These are examples of cognitive distortions: flawed, habitual thinking patterns that quietly shape how we interpret the world, often without our awareness.
Cognitive distortions act as a veil of perception, colouring how we see ourselves, others, and our experiences. They are not symptoms of weakness, but reflections of learned habits — ones we can unlearn. Whether you’re navigating anxiety, low self-esteem, relationship difficulties, or stress, identifying and challenging these distortions can radically improve your mental wellbeing.
In this article, we’ll explore the most common cognitive distortions, how they function, and evidence-based techniques (especially from CBT) to challenge and reframe them — helping you or your clients to think clearer, feel better, and move forward with intention.
What Are Cognitive Distortions?
Cognitive distortions are systematic errors in thinking. They’re often automatic and deeply ingrained, shaped by early experiences, trauma, societal messaging, or chronic stress. Psychologist Aaron T. Beck first introduced the concept through the lens of cognitive therapy in the 1960s, later expanded by David Burns.
Think of them as faulty “mental shortcuts” — cognitive biases that are meant to help us process information quickly, but which frequently lead to emotional distress, misjudged decisions, and self-defeating behaviours.
In therapy, identifying these distortions is a key first step in cognitive restructuring, which is the foundation of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) — a short-term therapeutic approach used worldwide, including by counselling services in Dover and across Kent.
The Most Common Cognitive Distortions
Here are ten of the most prevalent distortions that may be quietly shaping your inner dialogue:
1. All-or-Nothing Thinking (Black-and-White Thinking)
You see things in extremes — “I’m either perfect or a failure”.
Example: “If I can’t do it perfectly, there’s no point in trying.”
Reframe: “Some progress is better than none — improvement matters more than perfection.”
2. Overgeneralisation
You interpret a single negative event as a never-ending pattern.
Example: “I didn’t get the job; I’ll never succeed at anything.”
Reframe: “One setback doesn’t define my whole future — every attempt is a learning experience.”
3. Mental Filtering
You dwell on the negative and ignore the positive.
Example: “They said my report was great, but pointed out one typo — so I must be incompetent.”
Reframe: “The feedback was mostly positive — one minor error doesn’t erase that.”
4. Disqualifying the Positive
You reject compliments or successes, insisting they don’t count.
Example: “They’re just being polite — they didn’t mean it.”
Reframe: “I worked hard and deserve recognition — it’s okay to accept praise.”
5. Jumping to Conclusions
You assume the worst without evidence. This includes:
- Mind reading: “They didn’t reply — they must be angry with me.”
- Fortune-telling: “I just know this meeting will go badly.”
Reframe: “I don’t have all the facts — I’ll stay open to other possibilities.”
6. Catastrophising
You exaggerate how bad things will be.
Example: “If I fail this test, I’ll ruin my whole life.”
Reframe: “This is important, but one result doesn’t determine my entire future.”
7. Emotional Reasoning
You assume your feelings are facts.
Example: “I feel like a failure, so I must be one.”
Reframe: “Feelings are signals, not facts — I can feel down and still be capable.”
8. “Should” Statements
You place rigid expectations on yourself or others.
Example: “I should always be in control — anything else is unacceptable.”
Reframe: “It’s okay to make mistakes — I’m human, not a robot.”
9. Labelling and Mislabelling
You assign yourself or others extreme, fixed identities.
Example: “I forgot my keys — I’m such an idiot.”
Reframe: “I made a mistake — that doesn’t define me as a person.”
10. Personalisation and Blame
You hold yourself responsible for things beyond your control — or blame others unfairly.
Example: “My friend seemed quiet — it must be something I did.”
Reframe: “Their mood may have nothing to do with me — I’ll check in instead of assume.”
Why Challenging Cognitive Distortions Matters
These distortions are more than just unhelpful thoughts. Left unchallenged, they can contribute to:
- Anxiety and panic attacks
- Depression and low self-worth
- Relationship breakdowns
- Workplace burnout
- Chronic indecision or avoidance behaviours
Therapists often explain that thoughts affect feelings, which influence behaviours. So reframing distorted thoughts can dramatically improve emotional regulation and daily functioning.
Techniques to Challenge and Reframe Thoughts
Here are techniques used in counselling and CBT that you can try independently or with a therapist:
1. The ABC Model (Activating Event, Belief, Consequence)
This model helps trace how beliefs influence emotional reactions.
- A: What happened?
- B: What did I believe about it?
- C: What was the result or feeling?
Now challenge B: Is this belief logical? Is it based on facts? What’s a more balanced belief?
2. Socratic Questioning
Ask yourself:
- What is the evidence for and against this thought?
- Is this always true?
- Am I basing this on facts or feelings?
- What would I say to a friend thinking this?
3. Thought Records or Journals
Write down:
- Situation
- Emotion (rate intensity 0–10)
- Automatic thought
- Evidence for/against
- Alternative thought
- New emotion (rate again)
This process helps you observe your mind objectively.
4. Behavioural Experiments
Test the thought by doing the opposite action.
Example: “If I speak up, I’ll embarrass myself.”
Try speaking in a low-risk meeting and observe the outcome — more often than not, it contradicts the thought.
5. Reframing Questions
- What’s another way to see this?
- How might someone else view this situation?
- What would my most compassionate self say?
- Even if this is true, what else is also true?
The Role of Self-Compassion
Many people punish themselves for having distorted thoughts in the first place — but being human means we’re wired to notice danger, critique ourselves, and avoid risk. The trick is not to silence the mind but to gently redirect it.
In therapy, we often pair CBT with self-compassion work. This includes:
- Normalising struggle
- Speaking to yourself kindly
- Valuing effort over outcome
- Recognising that imperfection is part of being human
Read more about self-compassion on The Power of Self-Compassion: Why It Matters and How to Cultivate It –
Example – “Tom’s Social Anxiety”
Tom, a 34-year-old graphic designer in Dover, dreaded social events. His dominant thought: “Everyone will think I’m boring.”
Using a CBT worksheet during therapy, Tom identified:
- Evidence for: Past awkward silences, overthinking
- Evidence against: Friends kept inviting him; others also seemed nervous
- Reframe: “Even if I feel awkward, that doesn’t make me boring. Everyone feels unsure sometimes.”
After weeks of Socratic questioning, reframing and gentle exposure, Tom started enjoying small gatherings — proving that perceptions are not reality.
Working with a Therapist
If you’re struggling to manage these distortions alone, consider working with a qualified counsellor or CBT therapist. Many practitioners across Dover, Kent and the South East offer:
- Face-to-face counselling
- Walk-and-talk therapy (especially along Dover’s coastline)
- Online CBT sessions
- Group therapy or psychoeducational workshops
Use trusted directories like BACP, Counselling Directory, or ask your GP for local referrals.
Daily Practice – Keeping the Veil Lifted
Like glasses that fog, cognitive distortions can return unless you maintain awareness. Here’s how to stay on track:
Morning check-in: Name one helpful thought for the day
Mindfulness: 5-minute breath focus to observe thoughts
Reframe in real-time: Catch distorted thoughts and ask, “Is there another way to see this?”
Night review: Reflect on one distorted thought and rewrite it
Gratitude journal: Focus your attention on balance and positives
Conclusion: Rewriting the Story You Tell Yourself
The veil of perception can feel like a heavy fog — distorting reality, feeding self-doubt and anxiety. But with awareness, patience, and support, you can pull that veil back and see the world — and yourself — more clearly.
Challenging cognitive distortions isn’t about pretending everything is perfect. It’s about replacing untruths with balanced truths — ones that allow you to grow, heal, and connect with life on your terms.
Whether you’re in the UK or anywhere else in the world, know that the mind’s patterns can be unlearned — and new ways of thinking, seeing and living are always possible.
🔎 Visit my Blog – to learn more, or my website www.wellnesscounsellingservice.com my page on Psychology Today Elena Ward, Counsellor, Ruislip, HA4 | Psychology Today or Counselling Directory Counsellor Elena Ward – Dover & Ruislip – Counselling Directory to book a session in Dover or Ruislip.
Alternatively visit Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb or Counselling Directory Counselling Directory – Find a Counsellor Near You to find a Counsellor in your area.
Resources
· Beck, A. T. (1976). Cognitive therapy and the emotional disorders. New York: International Universities Press.
· Burns, D. D. (1980). Feeling good: The new mood therapy. New York: William Morrow & Company.
· Clark, D. A., & Beck, A. T. (2010). Cognitive therapy of anxiety disorders: Science and practice. Guilford Press.
· Dobson, K. S., & Dozois, D. J. A. (2019). Handbook of cognitive-behavioural therapies (4th ed.). Guilford Press.
· Ellis, A. (1962). Reason and emotion in psychotherapy. Secaucus, NJ: Citadel Press.
· Hofmann, S. G., Asnaani, A., Vonk, I. J., Sawyer, A. T., & Fang, A. (2012). The efficacy of cognitive behavioral therapy: A review of meta-analyses. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 36(5), 427–440.
· Leahy, R. L. (2003). Cognitive therapy techniques: A practitioner’s guide. Guilford Press.
· Padesky, C. A., & Greenberger, D. (2016). Mind over mood: Change how you feel by changing the way you think (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
· Reivich, K., & Shatté, A. (2002). The resilience factor: 7 essential skills for overcoming life’s inevitable obstacles. Broadway Books.
· Seligman, M. E. P. (2006). Learned optimism: How to change your mind and your life. Vintage.